As my daughter approaches her 16th birthday, I can’t help but think back to what life was like back then. We spent countless hours preparing for her arrival: doctor’s appointments, preparing the nursery, but most of all, stressing out about what it would be like to be a father and if I’d be good at it (I had zero doubts about my wife).
I remember being in a Lamaze class, goofing around with Emily, and then stopping to think, “I can’t even do this without being an ass; how can I be a dad?” Honestly, I’d do the same stuff today in a class like that (which was not all that useful for us after all). But I feel confident in the fact that I’m a great dad.
The thing about parenting is that beyond the Lamaze classes and initial info you learn about taking care of an infant, you’re on your own. Of course, there are many resources for parents: classes, books, experts, blogs, podcasts, you name it. Otherwise, you’re on your own.
According to a recent Gallup poll, 69% of people in the US identify as parents. There are communities of parents that do everything from playgroups with their kids to dinner parties without the kids. They share the experience of maturing as adults, taking on the responsibility of parenthood, and navigating the challenges of that experience while celebrating it. It’s life, a journey with unexpected twists and turns, yet we all know how it ends.
When I step back and think about this and myself as a parent, I can’t help but draw parallels to my career. I entered my career as a “New Media Producer,” which progressed to communications and marketing in higher education, account management in a small agency, and project management in agencies. Once I landed in project management, I was promoted to senior, director, and VP.
No one prepared me for the director role. It was just implied that I was good at my job, so I’d be good at managing a team. Sure, why not?
Thankfully, I think I did an okay job without any training. But looking back, I wasn’t prepared to deal with some of the issues that team members brought to me: poor performance that led to firing, competition, personal crises, and even layoffs. Just like life, your career is a journey. The difference is that you can prepare for your career.
If I’d had the help of a coach—or even a group of folks in similar roles—to turn to, I’d have been a much better director and manager. I didn’t have those resources, so I leaned on mentors and the internet to get me through. It shouldn’t have been like that.
When taking my first director job, I would have loved more guidance on delegating, coaching and not always problem-solving, managing my workload and tracking my teams’, and how to have productive 1:1 meetings. I’m sure there are even more things that I have absorbed over the years that now just seem like common sense.
I was inspired to write this post after reading Why we’re failing new managers and how we can set them up for success. It resonated with my past and speaks to the areas leaders—new and existing—who should be trained and mentored because the job can be stressful without it. With training comes confidence and the ability to navigate a leadership role with more authority.
I applaud you if you’re an organization that promotes employees into leadership positions. I also implore you to seek outside training and support for new and seasoned managers. Managers set the tone for the team; if they’re feeling stress, indecision, or confusion, the team will feel it, too.
Avoid those issues. Work toward team happiness. That comes from good leadership, solid work practices, and a culture of betterment. There are strong parallels to parenting because we model good behavior, teach our kids how to manage life, and build them up to be the happy, healthy people they deserve to be.
I’m just assuming my two amazing girls will be leaders one day, and when they are, I hope I’m around to be sure they’ve considered their readiness and effectiveness. I’ll offer to coach them, but I know they’ll turn me down. So, I’ll do it covertly over Taylor Swift and a Starbucks, just like I do now.
