Today is not your average Tuesday. It’s Election Day, and the nation feels like it’s collectively holding its breath. We’re interrupting our regularly scheduled Teamangle programming to bring you this critical PSA: how to survive election day at work without spiraling into a state of despair.
The assignment is clear: vote, do a little work if you can, and then hunker down for…however long it takes to find out who the next president will be. Whether you’re rooting for blue or red, or simply for 2024 to end, here are some (sort of?) helpful ways to look productive, stay sane, and fulfill your civic duty by making it through the workday without losing your mind.
1. Call out and take a personal day
Let’s start with the best option: don’t work at all. Calling out today is the ultimate act of self-preservation. It’s practically a civic duty at this point. You can claim it's a "mental health day to process democracy," which sounds responsible enough. Besides, with everything coming up over the next few days, you’re bound to need a day off eventually—might as well start now.
2. Start drinking…whatever “works” for you
Today’s the day to push caffeine limits. Double-shot espresso? Sure. An extra splash of whatever in that “coffee” mug? We’re not judging. Let the caffeine (or “other”) jitters blend in with your general Election Day nerves. It’s a great way to feel extra vigilant, and you’ll stay alert enough to dodge the 10th group chat notification about voter turnout.
3. Schedule fake back-to-back meetings
Nothing says “productive” like an entire day booked with “meetings.” Mark your calendar with fake status updates, one-on-one brainstorms, and a good old-fashioned “deep dive.” You’ll look incredibly busy while giving yourself plenty of time to refresh CNN or Drudge Report. Plus, it's a foolproof excuse for not responding to emails, even though we all know you’re hitting refresh on Politico between fake calls.
4. Mute all group chats and social media
The last thing you need is the 37th update from your group chat, Slack, and every news app about who just flipped which county. Mute everything—text alerts, Slack notifications, even do not disturb your phone if necessary. Tell everyone you’re "too focused" to engage with the “noise.” Plus, your inbox will feel so zen, you’ll be like a monk avoiding election chaos from the top of a mountain.
5. Block all news sites and replace them with work tools
Today, browser blockers are your best friend. Block Drudge, Twitter, Reddit, and every other black hole. Your brain can only handle so much info-dumping before it checks out completely. Replace those sites with something that looks responsible—like a spreadsheet. “Look at me, being all work-focused!”
6. Take a “meditative” walk or just pace around and scream silently
Look, taking a “breather” is crucial for focus, right? Go outside, take a lap around the office, or just circle your kitchen while silently screaming into the void. Call it a “meditative break” and give yourself a moment to release that pent-up anxiety. Whether it’s breathing exercises or a therapeutic power-walk with a side of air punching, you’ll look like you’re handling today’s stress like a pro.
7. Hit up HR to see if free therapy has been added to the benefits package
It’s 2024. We’ve all been through a lot. Today is a perfect time to “touch base” with HR and check if free therapy has finally made it onto the benefits list. Or even just a mindfulness app. It’s the responsible, modern thing to do, and HR might even throw in some tips on managing work stress—which you can mentally bookmark for next Election Day.
8. Wrap yourself in a blanket burrito and pretend everything is fine
When in doubt, cocoon it out. Roll yourself in a blanket burrito—slanket-style—grab your favorite hot drink, and wait for the storm to pass. Sure, you might look a little weird on the Zoom call, but they’ll get it. It’s Election Day, and we’re all just trying to survive.
9. Raid the office snack stash or the home snack drawer
Stress-eating is as American as voting! Empty the snack stash at work or home—Doritos, leftover Halloween candy, or anything else remotely edible. A steady stream of snacks can take the edge off, and if you’re going to be a ball of nerves, you might as well do it with some chocolate.
10. Play “Decision Day Burrito Bingo”
Here’s how you make Election Day both thrilling and slightly tolerable: Decision Day Burrito Bingo by Same Team Partners. Park yourself in front of the TV with your laptop—cozy in your blanket burrito—and play along. It’s like a drinking game, but (sort of) work-appropriate. Every time you hear a quote, mark it off. When you get Bingo, call it a day.
Whether you’re hiding in “meetings” all day, keeping your phone on do not disturb, or downing coffee like it’s water, just remember: We’re all on the Same Team. 😉 Take a breath, give yourself a break when needed, and find a little calm in the chaos. We’ve got this—just one hour at a time.
