I was in a meeting with an agency owner and two of her team members, discussing how their team operates. At one point, I asked what I thought was a simple question: “How would you describe your culture?”
Smartly, the owner turned to her team and said, “You two go first.”
They described the day-to-day vibe of working on projects, how people show up, how they support one another, and how things actually get done. Then the owner stepped in with a broader answer. She spoke about values, tone, and behaviors she tries to model from the top.
None of the answers were wrong. But they weren’t identical either, and that’s the point: Culture isn’t what leadership says it is. It’s what the team experiences.
Culture doesn’t live in a slide deck
You’ve seen it before: a founder disappears into a strategic offsite and returns with a freshly minted values deck. There’s a rollout. A celebration of sorts. A branded mural on the wall. A handful of internal Slack messages that start with 🎉. For a moment, it feels promising, like maybe something is shifting.
But fast-forward a few weeks, and the reality starts to show. Micromanaging is back. Feedback is still top-down. People are hesitant to speak up. The slide deck? Buried in a shared drive that no one opens.
It’s not that the vision was bad. In fact, it was probably thoughtful and well-intentioned. But it was also idealistic—aspirational rather than operational. And when there’s no plan to live those values out loud every day, they quickly fade into background noise.
Culture doesn’t come from a document. It comes from what people actually say, do, reward, repeat, and ignore. It lives in the day-to-day moments: the handoffs, the tone in a meeting, the way someone reacts when things go sideways. And these things will always remain true:
If you say you value “balance” but praise employees who power through burnout, that’s your culture.
If you value “collaboration” but teams never talk to each other, that’s your culture.
And if your values only show up during onboarding? That’s not culture—it’s theater.
So… who owns company culture?
Technically, everyone. But let’s break that down a little more, because “everyone” doesn’t mean “no one,” and culture doesn’t maintain itself.
Leaders: set the tone and go first
Every action you take shapes culture, not just the big announcements or the all-hands slides. The way you make decisions, the habits you model, the behaviors you reward or tolerate… they all send a message.
Ask yourself: Are your values reflected in your decisions? Do people feel safe disagreeing with you? Are you reinforcing healthy habits, or quietly rewarding toxic ones?
Culture change doesn’t require perfection. It requires honesty. The most powerful leadership move might be the moment you say, “We’re not living these values the way we say we are, and we need to do better.”
Managers: carry the culture in every interaction
You’re the bridge between leadership’s intent and the team’s reality. That’s not a small thing. What you tolerate, encourage, and model every day shapes what the team believes is acceptable.
This means asking about more than just deliverables in 1:1s. It means calling out trust-eroding behaviors, even when they come from a high performer. And it means recognizing the people who make the team stronger, even if they’re not the loudest voice in the room.
Culture isn’t just what you expect. It’s what you inspect.
HR and People Teams: protect the container
You don’t own the culture, but you do help uphold it. Your role is to build the infrastructure that reflects company values, from hiring and onboarding to feedback systems and recognition programs.
You’re also the early warning system. If those structures start to break, or if culture diverges from the values on paper, your job is to raise the alarm. You’re not the “culture department.” You’re the stewards who help others take it seriously.
And perhaps most importantly, you give teams language and tools to talk about culture, not just during conflict or crisis, but as a regular, intentional part of how they work.
Everyone else: Yes, you’re part of this, too
Culture isn’t something that happens to you. It’s something you contribute to with every interaction—every moment you offer help, speak up when something feels off, model curiosity, or make space for someone else to lead.
It might not feel like much in the moment, but those small acts shape what the team becomes. Culture is a group project. Even if you didn’t choose the values, you help bring them to life (or quietly erode them) every day.
Culture is a conversation
If you’re not talking about culture regularly, you’re letting it happen by accident. Culture is created, reinforced, and reshaped through open, ongoing dialogue, not just lofty statements.
Here are a few great times to check in:
- At offsites or retreats: Take 30 minutes to reflect on how values are showing up, or not.
- In 1:1s: Ask questions like, “What helps you feel connected to this team? What gets in the way?”
- During project kickoffs: Define how you’ll work together, not just what you’ll deliver.
- In retros: Reflect on more than just scope and timelines. Observe how the team treated one another along the way.
And for remote or hybrid teams, remember: culture is harder to see, so it needs to be said out loud. Model vulnerability. Normalize transparency. Build rituals that reinforce connection. Use video when it matters—but don’t confuse face time with culture.
Slack reactions, pizza gift cards, and the occasional “shoutout channel” aren’t enough. Culture isn’t loud, and it isn’t performative. It’s built in the quiet, consistent moments—how you respond to feedback, how you show up for your teammates, how you handle a hard day. That’s what sticks. That’s what shapes the team.
If you want a stronger culture, stop trying to perform it and start practicing it.
Culture isn’t owned. It’s practiced.
Remember that meeting I mentioned at the start? The one where the team described their culture through how they worked, while the leader described it through what she believed? That gap wasn’t a failure. It was a signal. Culture lives in the space between intention and experience. And the only way to close that gap is to talk about it, notice it, and keep shaping it together.
Since no one owns culture, we all contribute to its creation. And we’re doing it right now, whether we mean to or not.
T L ; D R - Culture doesn’t live in HR. It doesn’t live in a deck or on your About page. It lives in how people treat each other every day. Leaders set the tone. Managers reinforce it. HR supports the structure. And every team member shapes it, whether they mean to or not.
Want a better culture? Don’t just design it. Talk about it. Pay attention to what’s working and what’s not. And most importantly, build it together.
